My Mixed Up Healthy Rock and Roll Life

If you don’t like reading about feminine issues you may want to avert your eyes–however this could be the post that could change mind and more importantly your life. I made the trek into a green juice and vegan raw food diet. WHY oh WHY, would I do that you ask? Well, I will have you know I happened to only eat my steak moo-ing in the middle and preferred to eat that lb of bacon with pride, and God forbid those vegan assholes come after me with their “you shouldn’t eat anything with a mother and a face!” bullshit (excuse my swearing rant. This is really what goes on in my head…).  Here’s the deal, ladies and germs: I was getting sick. My entire life I have battled horrible menstrual cramps and irregular periods. Last year my ovaries took a turn for the worse and began producing ovarian cysts that would rupture and cause debilitating pain, abnormal bleeding, nausea, headaches, fatigue, etc… Every month I would suffer wondering, when the hell is this going to stop. After internal ultrasounds and gynecological exams, I was left with the same options: birth control or if it doesn’t get better–surgery. “Le Sigh…” Now before I continue, please keep in mind that this could all be some crazy ass coincidence, and I am always trying to debunk the latest diet fads and crazes so please keep the: “you shouldn’t jump ahead of yourself” comments to a minimum. 

My previous diet consisted of pretty much this: Coffee–and when I say coffee I mean it. 8 cups a day on average. Holy jitters and energy crashes, Batman! Animal Protein. Lots of it. Hey, I wanted to gain lean muscle. I stopped eating bread and rice and pasta and started eating more meat. Dairy. Who cut the cheese? I DID. Cheese has no carbs…good right? Hmmm.. very few vegetables and synthetic protein shakes with Whey, but loaded with other stuff I could not pronounce. Not good. You can probably guess that my PH levels were definitely not in the alkaline range. Welcome to “Acid- City”, population, me.

So where’s my point? Well, it’s more like a rounded tip right now waiting to gain all it’s sharpness, but here’s the freaking scoop: this month, after a year of suffering, I have yet to see abnormal bleeding. No cramping. No headaches. No bloating. No dizziness. No Quasimodo like hunched over pain. Did I mention NO abnormal bleeding? Am I crazy, or is this green and raw lifestyle saving my life? I’m starting to think I’m not crazy. I am also starting to think those vegan assholes are right. In the meantime, stay tuned. If this is only the beginning, I wonder what lies ahead? Image


I have been cleansing my body by drinking green juices for the past 7 days while incorporating  raw alkaline foods such as avocados, spinach, sprouts, berries, etc…with the allowance of raw nuts (cashews, walnuts, almonds) and almond butter. No grains. No dairy. Did I lose weight? Yes and no. Yes meaning, I lost 2 lbs of body fat and some inches. No meaning my weight has stayed the same, but I can safely say it’s lean muscle that has remained. For all of you out there getting frustrated with the scale and who rely on the numbers for encouragement–forget that. I lost body fat and inches. My skin is glowing. I have massive energy for my heavy lifts. I’m sleeping soundly. My bowels are moving like a well oiled machine. I feel light on my feet and wicked smahhhhhhhht in the brain. This cleansing has opened my eyes to many things, but one particular thing stands out for me the most, and that’s the habit of eating. I recognize now that eating had taken over my day. The comfort and habit of picking up food and putting it in my mouth, chewing, and then swallowing–mindless chewing and swallowing. I would eat while reading, writing, sitting at the computer, watching TV…but I never paid attention to my body. Was it full? Who cares, right? I worked out enough today to deserve to eat mindlessly; not to mention I wasn’t eating fast food or cookies or cake or anything really BAD for me…I would have a handful of peanuts here, a few rice cakes there, some hummus and crackers, a handful of raisins, a few squares of dark chocolate for snacks, but I had no idea I was taking in so much when it all added up. Eating raw and drinking juice has brought to my attention this: Its not about what makes us comfortable in order to be healthy. Life will not just hand us a victory. Sometimes it’s about not being able to have what you want. We are such an instant gratification culture. We want to be soothed and cajoled and we want it NOW. Beautiful things are never easy. Our bodies do not need to be soothed with snacks. Eat well Drink well. Know what you are putting in your body and know what those nutrietns and minerals do for you. Read a book instead of snacking for a change. Write a poem. Go for a walk. Clear your mind. Pay a debt. Call a friend. Play some music. HECK–write a song. Learn to play guitar (I can help you). It’s not always about doing what makes us feel satisfied at the moment. Do yourself a favor and try being uncomfortable for a bit. Watch and learn what comfort that will bring. 


Until next time…Rock on folks!Image

{February 24, 2013}   Green means GO!

A few years ago a friend of mine told me she was doing a juice cleanse. I immediately scoffed at the idea, so sure that she was disillusioned and I was oh-so-omniscient. “You are just going to gain all the weight back so what’s the point?” I said, “Why bother? Just eat food and exercise and don’t eat junk. Live your life”. I look back at this moment and I can’t help but admit to myself I was being ignorant and most of all  jealous of the fact that she wanted to take on a challenge to lead her on a road to better health. Wasn’t I supposed to be the great big motivator/support system and not a heedless son-of-a-bitch? Here I stand 3 years later, the proud owner of a juicer, and a newly wild advocate of green juice and the insane benefits and medicinal properties it contains–feeling incredibly apologetic to my friend for overlooking what could possibly be the best alteration in my everyday diet. Sorry. Really, I am. 

So why should you believe me? What makes green juice so effective and what can you expect when you start imbibing this most omnipotent concoction? Here are a few things I noticed when I started:

* I felt instantly healthier, as if I were transforming into a  beautiful flower. I could already feel myself growing on greener pastures. Weird? Of course…that’s just me..but I bet you at least feel a tiny bit smarter and better about starting your day when you take a sip….

*My skin started to look clearer and a bit more radiant after only a few days. I did not have any skin problems prior to this, but I did notice a slight transition in appearance.

*I could think more clearly. Maybe it’s the chlorophyll? Don’t listen to Billy Madison–it isn’t more like “bore-o-phyll”. It’s pretty exciting and makes your brain go from miniscule to prodigious…or at least you will think so. Just go with it.

*Let’s just say it extricated the cluttered mess that lay dormant against my insides…or, I pooped more. A lot more. DUDE…how many toxins can one’s body hold? Holy crap-a-moly, Batman! This is good. Go with it. Literally.

*I had more energy. I hit my PR’s in the gym and I felt I could do more after that. I did not have to juice a steak in with the kale, nor did I add any caffeine to the mix. The plants are strong and wise. They bring forth goodness and vitality. I was shocked. How interesting and cool! 

*Most notably, I was able to focus my attention on something other than food. Yes, we all have to think of food at some point, but I spent less time obsessing over food. I felt satiated and full as if my body were to say: “Melanie, you have been given what you need. It’s about what you need and not so much about what you want.” Wow. 

It’s easier being green than you think. I did some research on the benefits of drinking green juice. here is the link to an article I found helpful.

Also, here is my own green juice recipe for your healthy drinking pleasure:

Mel’s mixed up healthy rock and roll green juice:

2 handfuls of kale

2 handfuls of spinach

1 handful of cilantro

3 stalks of celery

1 cucumber

1/2 a lemon

1/2 grapefruit

1 green apple

1 square of fresh gingerImage

Music pick of the day: Crystalline Green by Goldfrapp



et cetera